I felt bad about the hostility of the last one so i decided to take this time to type up a proper farewell to xanga [well...for now at least. we all no how bored beth can get over the summer].
   I just feel all screwed over right now-and the words of adivice that people are giving me just seem to piss me off more. i dont want to sound like the ungrateful bitch that i am-but i really dont think that the magnitude of whats going on with me really makes much sense. so please dont try to understand me or my major mood swings right now. Frankly i dont even understand myself sometimes. its just one of those times where everything seems in a jumble...and to try and explain it would be much like sticking my head underwater...cause it doesnt make any sense. none of it!! and thats just insane because a year ago i seemed pretty happy am i right?? 2 years ago...wow-lets not even go there. and im not gonna say that a certain person screwed me over...cause thats mean to put the blame all on him just because hes been an asshole to me for the past year. its not his fault its mine.
   Its mine because i look far into things
And i take things for granted
   I expect the upmost honesty in people...
But in reality human kind cant possibly be honest at all.

   So maybe im stupid and maybe im naive. i could just be losing my mind....but i dont think anyone deserves to be put through the torture that would be listening to beth talk about the life she wishes she didnt have to put up with sometimes

XoXoBeth

if i could touch you...
if you could see...
just how much you mean to me...
but you dont care
you never will
even so
i love you still

Arent you happy in your oblivian?

.:Suddenly i know im not sleeping
Hello, im still here
All thats left of yesterday:.

Why hold on so hard to something you never had in the first place?